Bismillah, in the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful. Praises be to Allah, the Creator of mankind and the One who has blessed us with generations. May blessings and peace be upon the Messenger, his noble family, his esteemed companions, and all those who follow their path.

Every parent dreams of having a virtuous child. Which parent wouldn’t feel immense joy when blessed with a pious child, who brings immense comfort and happiness to their eyes and hearts, even if they themselves are not virtuous? The presence of a righteous child helps alleviate the fatigue and pain of pregnancy. Such a child not only brings benefits to the parents in this world but also in the Hereafter, as Allah bestows goodness through them.

One of the wonderful blessings bestowed by Allah upon His servants is a pious child, whose prayers bring immense benefits to their parents. This is in accordance with the saying of the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ: “It is believed that when a person passes away, their actions cease to have an impact except for three things: continuous acts of charity, knowledge that benefits others, and a righteous child who prays for them.” (Narrated by Imam Tirmizi)

Parents are truly fortunate when, even after they have passed away, they are still able to receive blessings through the prayers of their righteous child. This is truly the ultimate treasure one can have.

The responsibility for the birth of a righteous child lies with all parties involved, including the parents and the child themselves.

According to a hadith, Prophet Muhammad ﷺ stated that: “Every child is born in a state of fitrah (natural disposition). Parents play a significant role in shaping their children’s religious beliefs, whether it be Jewish, Christian, or Magian. Just like how an animal gives birth to a fully formed offspring. Do you notice any deficiencies in its resemblance to its mother?” (Muttafaqun ‘alaih)

This hadith highlights the significant influence parents have on shaping their child’s character, whether towards righteousness or otherwise. A child’s religious background reflects their parents’ beliefs. In the mentioned hadith, the Prophet beautifully illustrates the concept by comparing it to an animal giving birth to its own kind flawlessly.

It provides insight into how a child’s religious upbringing is influenced by their parents. It reflects the wisdom of the Malay proverb “bapa borek anak rintik,” which translates to “the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree”. To clarify, if parents aspire to have a virtuous child, they must embody righteousness themselves.

The early upbringing of children plays a vital role in shaping them into morally upright individuals. At this stage, children acquire knowledge about religion from their parents. Parents should consider incorporating religious teachings into their children’s education, including introducing them to prayer, the Quran, and other forms of worship. The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ emphasised the importance of teaching children about prayer as he said: “Command your children to pray when they are seven years old, and discipline them (if they neglect it) when they are ten, and separate their beds.” (Narrated by Imam Abu Daud)

In this hadith, the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ emphasises the importance of familiarising young children with the practise of prayer (solat). Additionally, he advises us to enforce discipline, even resorting to physical measures if needed, when they fail to fulfil or reject the act of prayer. Allah also emphasises the importance of practising patience when guiding our families in establishing and maintaining prayer. According to Allah, it is stated:

وَأْمُرْ أَهْلَكَ بِالصَّلَاةِ وَاصْطَبِرْ عَلَيْهَا ۖ لَا نَسْأَلُكَ رِزْقًا ۖ نَحْنُ نَرْزُقُكَ ۗ وَالْعَاقِبَةُ لِلتَّقْوَىٰ ١٣٢

“Bid your people to pray, and be diligent in [observing] it. We do not ask you to provide. It is We Who provide for you. And the ultimate outcome is [only] for [the people of] righteousness.” (Taha 20:132)

The main focus emphasised here is for parents to educate their children about the importance of establishing prayer (solat). Allah commands us to exercise patience, and the word “واصطبر” holds a profound significance, representing a heightened level of patience that goes beyond the ordinary. It requires a great deal of patience and perseverance.

To raise righteous children, parents should prioritise education and effective communication. Enrolling children in Quranic learning centres is highly beneficial for parents as it provides them with the opportunity to study the Quran.

It is crucial for parents to proactively educate their children about the Quran. Early Quranic education from parents is beneficial for children. Neglecting to teach children to read the Quran would be a missed opportunity, given the immense rewards of reciting and teaching it.

The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ once said: “The best among you are those who learn the Quran and teach it to others.” (Narrated by Imam Bukhari)

Parents have the responsibility of being good role models. A child’s development is influenced by the environment in which they grow up. Good children are likely to be raised by good parents in a positive environment, InshaAllah. By utilising a gentle tone, practising tolerance, and refraining from arguments in the presence of their children, parents can provide a nurturing environment that fosters positive speech and character development for their child.

Think about what would happen if parents frequently used harsh language, argued aloud in front of their kids, were rude, etc. What impact would growing up in such an environment have on a child? Growing up in an unfavourable environment could inadvertently lead them to normalise such behaviour in their own lives. Parents play a vital role in fostering a positive family environment.

The prayer of parents is one of the best prayers for a person; its position is highly esteemed in the sight of Allah.

Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: “Three prayers are definitely answered: the prayer of the oppressed, the prayer of the traveler, and the prayer of parents for their children.” (Narrated by Imam Ibn Majah)

Therefore, it is important for parents to engage in abundant prayer to Allah, seeking His guidance and enlightenment in order to lead a righteous life. Additionally, they should also pray for their children to be righteous. However, prayer alone is insufficient; it must be complemented by efforts to educate children, as previously mentioned. It is equally important to promote positive speech and refrain from making negative prayers for children.

The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ issued a strong warning regarding this matter in his saying: “Do not invoke harm upon yourselves, do not invoke evil upon your children, and do not invoke misfortune upon your wealth…” (Narrated by Imam Muslim)

A righteous child is a truly precious gift for parents. Hence, it is important to carefully select a righteous partner before entering into marriage, with the goal of raising a righteous child. One of the challenges for parents is when they pass away without witnessing the ongoing rewards of their efforts in raising their children to become righteous individuals. Once their bodies are buried in the earth, there is no way for them to rectify the situation.

It is indeed a loss if parents are more preoccupied with their smartphones, constantly engaging with various social media applications, while neglecting to educate their children in matters of religion. After all, it is in their children that they place their hopes and aspirations for the future, even after they are long gone.

Written by Ustaz Abdul Rahman Rahuni

Ustaz Abdul Rahman Rahuni is a Malaysian shariah advisor at Muslim Pro. He is a graduate of the Islamic University of Madinah  studying in the field of Islamic Sharia. Ustaz Abdul Rahman is currently a lecturer at Sekolah Menengah Agama Islamiah, Tawau, Sabah.