{"id":6706,"date":"2023-05-03T11:26:31","date_gmt":"2023-05-03T03:26:31","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/connect.muslimpro.com\/?p=6706"},"modified":"2023-11-01T15:24:01","modified_gmt":"2023-11-01T07:24:01","slug":"her-last-ramadan-coping-with-grief-on-eid","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/connect.muslimpro.com\/2023\/05\/her-last-ramadan-coping-with-grief-on-eid\/","title":{"rendered":"Her Last Ramadan \u2013 Coping with Grief on Eid"},"content":{"rendered":"

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Growing up, Eid at my grandmother\u2019s apartment in Singapore meant family photos, eating the various dishes cooked by my grandmother, mother and aunts, and watching the rerun of the special Eid variety program on television.<\/p>\n

Since I moved to the U.S in 2012, I have not had the opportunity to spend Ramadan or Eid with my grandmother and parents. I don\u2019t like to\u00a0<\/span>travel during Ramadan<\/a>\u00a0<\/span>as jetlag gets me tired and weary, distracting me from my worship goals.<\/p>\n

This year, I had to travel just before Ramadan to be with my paternal grandmother. When I met her, a few days before Ramadan, we knew it could be her last Ramadan.<\/p>\n

On the fourth day of the blessed month, my grandmother returned to Allah s.w.t. \u2013 but I had already flown back to Virginia.<\/p>\n

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The author (bottom right, in maroon hijab) with her late grandmother (fourth from the left), cousins and son.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n

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Grief<\/strong><\/h2>\n

As my body dealt with sleepiness from jet lag and travel, my heart thought that I was emotionally fine. After all, I was blessed to have been able to travel to see my late grandmother and even spent two nights by her side.<\/p>\n

My grandmother was 91 years old. She was a mother to 11 children, 49 grandchildren and over 30 great grandchildren.\u00a0She had passed during a blessed month. Solah, or prayer, was always foremost on her mind. As I recited Surah Yasin, she would join along despite her frail condition in her last few days in this temporal world.<\/p>\n

Given all these blessings, I found myself finding Allah\u2019s mercy showered upon me while being in a difficult situation. Filled with gratitude, I went about my Ramadan schedule- volunteering, fulfilling iftar invites and so on.\u00a0It was only two weeks after her passing, as I pulled up in the parking lot of a local Muslim community center to prepare for a kids\u2019 storytime, I broke down and cried.<\/p>\n

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Feeling sad is not a sign of low\u00a0<\/span>iman<\/em>.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n

Grief<\/a>, it seems, can be sneaky. It creeps up on you unexpectedly. Being accepting or\u00a0<\/span>ridha\u00a0<\/span><\/em>with the passing of my grandmother didn\u2019t mean that I would not experience grief.\u00a0Sadness and grief are normal. And being grateful doesn\u2019t negate emotions, and feeling sad is not a sign of low\u00a0<\/span>iman<\/em>.<\/p>\n

Tips from The Family and Youth Institute<\/strong><\/h2>\n

According to\u00a0<\/span>The Family and Youth Institute<\/a><\/em>,\u00a0<\/span><\/strong>a US-based non-profit, grief might show up during Eid (or any festive season) in four ways:<\/p>\n