5 Essential Life Skills To Teach Your Child

by Farida Haji

Dear parent,

Are you tired of screaming at your kids for simple tasks?

Then sighing out of frustration because you have to drag them forcefully and watch them complete their task? If only they could do it in the first place with a smile on their faces.

Instead of lashing out at your children, teach them these life skills.

5 Essential Life Skills

1. Decision-making

Decision-making starts from the moment we realize we have a choice. We introduce options to our children — an apple or a banana, a chocolate or a sweet — and as they grow up, the options get more complex and difficult. 

 

Father Teaches His Daughter

As parents or primary caregivers, it is our prerogative to help them make better choices from the mind and heart, and hone their decision-making skills. You can help them to:

  •  Identify the problem;
  •  Explore options;
  •  Compare pros and cons;
  •  Plan your action; and
  •  Gauge consequences.

Follow up with providing guidance to support your child in making the right decisions.

2. Maintaining Health and Hygiene

Cleanliness is essential to our practices, not just for our prayers, but for a healthy life. Rather than commanding them to perform certain tasks, explain why they need to do it.  

حَدَّثَنَا هِشَامُ بْنُ عَمَّارٍ، حَدَّثَنَا صَدَقَةُ بْنُ خَالِدٍ، حَدَّثَنَا عُتْبَةُ بْنُ أَبِي حَكِيمٍ، حَدَّثَنِي طَلْحَةُ بْنُ نَافِعٍ أَبُو سُفْيَانَ، قَالَ حَدَّثَنِي أَبُو أَيُّوبَ الأَنْصَارِيُّ، وَجَابِرُ بْنُ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ، وَأَنَسُ بْنُ مَالِكٍ، أَنَّ هَذِهِ الآيَةَ، نَزَلَتْ ‏{فِيهِ رِجَالٌ يُحِبُّونَ أَنْ يَتَطَهَّرُوا وَاللَّهُ يُحِبُّ الْمُطَّهِّرِينَ}‏ قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ ـ صلى الله عليه وسلم ـ ‏”‏ يَا مَعْشَرَ الأَنْصَارِ إِنَّ اللَّهَ قَدْ أَثْنَى عَلَيْكُمْ فِي الطُّهُورِ فَمَا طُهُورُكُمْ ‏”‏ ‏.‏ قَالُوا نَتَوَضَّأُ لِلصَّلاَةِ وَنَغْتَسِلُ مِنَ الْجَنَابَةِ وَنَسْتَنْجِي بِالْمَاءِ ‏.‏ قَالَ ‏”‏ هُوَ ذَلِكَ فَعَلَيْكُمُوهُ ‏”‏ ‏.‏

Abu Sufyan said:

“Abu Ayyub Al-Ansari, Jabir bin ‘Abdullah, and Anas bin Malik told me that when this Verse: “In it (the mosque) are men who love to clean and to purify themselves. And Allah loves those who make themselves clean and pure.” was revealed, the Messenger of Allah said: ‘O Ansar! Allah has praised you for your cleanliness. What is the nature of your cleanliness?’ They said: ‘We perform ablution for prayer and we take bath to cleanse ourselves of impurity due to sexual activity, and we clean ourselves with water (after urinating). He said: ‘This is what it is. So adhere to it.'”

[Sunan Ibn Majah 355]

This is definitely a challenge, the foundation of which needs to be strong. Once the habits are established, you will have one less thing to worry about. Create a task table, or allocate timings for certain tasks, and let them see you perform the task as well.

Actions speak louder than words, so introduce your children to the following habits when appropriate:

  • Practise good dental hygiene and brush regularly, at least twice a day.

حَدَّثَنَا عَبْدُ اللَّهِ بْنُ يُوسُفَ، قَالَ أَخْبَرَنَا مَالِكٌ، عَنْ أَبِي الزِّنَادِ، عَنِ الأَعْرَجِ، عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ ـ رضى الله عنه ـ أَنَّ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم قَالَ ‏ “‏ لَوْلاَ أَنْ أَشُقَّ عَلَى أُمَّتِي ـ أَوْ عَلَى النَّاسِ ـ لأَمَرْتُهُمْ بِالسِّوَاكِ مَعَ كُلِّ صَلاَةٍ ‏”‏‏.‏

Narrated Abu Huraira:

Allah’s Messenger ﷺ said, “If I had not found it hard for my followers or the people, I would have ordered them to clean their teeth with Siwak for every prayer.”

[Sahih al-Bukhari 887]

  • Perform wudhu with the right mannerisms (arkaan).
  • Bathe (ghusul) and clean yourself thoroughly after urinating or defecating.
  • Remove pubic and armpit hair once every 40 days.
  • Clip nails regularly.
  • Maintain a good appearence, wear clean and washed underwear and garments.
  • Encourage use of attar, especially on Fridays.
  • Being mindful while sneezing and coughing.
  • Promote healthy eating habits and practices.
  • Maintain cleanliness around the house, refrain from littering the streets.

3. Time Management

“Wait a minute”, “give me 5 minutes”, “later!” and other such phrases are common responses we’ve heard from our children. Time management is not only reading the clock and getting things done on time. It’s organizing, planning and executing tasks at a scheduled period. The simplest example would be to pray on time!      

Mother Planning with her Child

These are a few ways to teach your children the value of time and planning:

  • Make simple calendars (individual and family) and fill them together
  • Prioritise tasks and reward them for timely actions
  • For children who love technology, add kid-friendly organisational apps to their gadgets to make it a fun exercise.
  • Communicate gently for best results

4. Financial Literacy

We see numbers everywhere. However, how many of us realize the importance of numbers in our lives? Introduce the understanding of money from an early age, so when they start earning they can deal with money rationally.

Do not start from when they turn one. Instead, gradually as they understand calculations, introduce basic money matters to your child:

  • The concept of savings from an early age.
  • Talk about Zakat and Charity.
  • Talk about earning halal money.
  • Discuss how we deal with interest (riba).

Have conversations about the Islamic nature of handling finance and allow them to manage and use money. This can be difficult, but not impossible.

5. Survival Chores

Oh yes! This has to be the most important one. The umpteen number of times we see clothes thrown on the floor and the dishes left in the sink. It is definitely something our children need to realize, that we will not be there to pick up after them for the rest of their lives.

Teach them the following survival skills before it’s too late:

  • Make time to teach and direct your child to do age-appropriate tasks.
  • Teach them to prep meals; not an entire dining menu yet, but enough to make themselves a sandwich or an egg, or pour themselves a glass of milk and cereal.
  • Teach them first aid and quick response when they hurt themselves.
  • Teach them to clean up after themselves, make their bed, switch off the lights, and put away their laundry.
  • Teach them about budgeting and buying items.
  • Teach them about fixing things around and about the house.
  • Encourage them to be of service to people in need of help.

It may seem like a lot. However, take a back seat and think of your child as a little human, a Muslim brother or sister you are raising. Think of your teachings and imparting knowledge as a service to Allah. Not only will it make your parental journey easy, but it will make your path to Jannah blissful! Inshallah.

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49 Comments

  1. Jesmin islam

    Very good advice

    Reply
    • Sakina Husain

      I LOVE THIS!!!
      The suggestions for good mannerisms and interactions with the kids for them to be more involved in their development are soo relevant and simple. Such a helpful piece.
      Thank you!!!

      Reply
  2. Umm Ismail

    ‎​السَّلاَمُ عَلَيْكُمْ وَرَحْمَةُ اللهِ وَ بَرَكته
    Thank you for taking the time to write these very practical suggestions..

    Keep them coming as the fitnah of having outspoken, rude and sometimes lazy children is upon us all..

    Wasalam
    Umm Ismail

    Reply
    • Hajia Rashidat????????

      This is awesome, thanks for this, Jazakha ALLAHU Khairan ????????, I will start practicing with my child as from now on ????????.

      Reply
  3. Aliyu Ahmad

    Very interesting topical issues, we shall be part of it all the way Insha Allah

    Reply
  4. Zakir

    Would be good if you can make the provision for us to share such tidbits by WhatsApp or other social media

    Reply
    • Farida Haji

      You may share the link of this article directly to your contacts on WhatsApp. 🙂
      On other social media, we shall upload posts in due time. You may follow and subscribe to the Muslim Pro accounts on other social media platforms
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      Thank you so much for your kind support and appreciation.

      Reply
  5. Usman Siraj Ahmed

    Assalamualaikum. Mashallah very useful.

    Reply
    • Mahira

      Asalam Aleykum W Wabarakatuh
      Tabarakallah very useful…????
      Jazakallah Khairan…❤

      Reply
    • Ibrahim Mohammed

      Jazzakal llahu khairan. …. this is useful and rewarding.

      Reply
    • Samreen

      JazakAllah khair….very useful easy and the best way to teach children.

      Reply
    • mohsen mehali

      Masha Allah
      Thanks for the teachings

      Reply
    • Abdul Maroof

      JazaakAllah,Very informative and productive

      Reply
      • Zabida

        Salam,
        Great advice for parents and children! Teach your children while they are young. Will definitely make a difference in their lives.

        Reply
        • Nour from Muslim Pro

          Shukran your your appreciation and support. Do share the article with your family and friends, – Nour

          Reply
    • Shahid

      Alhamdulillah, excellent. Jazak Allahu Khairan!

      Reply
    • Abdul Maroof

      JazaakAllah,very good article for parents to instill good qualities in their children.

      Reply
  6. Fadzilah

    Alhamdullilah. Its powerful tool not only for children but adult too

    Reply
    • Noraini Rasam

      Alhamdulillah. I could use the tips to share with other parents. InsyaaAllah. Syukron jazilan for sharing. May Allah bless this string.

      Reply
  7. Bashir Muhammed

    A very good lessons for a better life and good upbringing

    Reply
  8. Rehana Kausar

    Mashallah usefull but today’s kids joint family also playes imp role if u have suggestion regarding how to cope up 80+ members do send me

    Reply
    • Adekunle Mojeed

      Very educative ????

      Reply
  9. Luckman

    Cleanliness doesn’t and shouldn’t stop at body hygiene alone but extend to complete cleanliness of your home and surroundings,even at our work places.Kitchen,bathroom,toilet and tidy up the entire house are part of it.
    And must not be gender based.Let’s teach our boys and men how to do these chores as well and not only the females.

    May Allah make life easier for everyone.Ameen.

    Reply
  10. HUSSEIN

    EXCELLENT

    Reply
  11. Fazila Poptani

    Lovely article and especially about teaching kids from a young age. Yesterday I went to an area that was so messy and dirty with rubbish on the roads and my kids were shocked as I always teach them to never throw rubbish outside and we always go out to clean up our road. Subhanallah

    Reply
    • Muhammad

      Your lesson is good

      Reply
  12. Yahya Mohammed

    Alhamdulillah• this is very relevant …Jazakallahu khair ????

    Reply
  13. Rashida

    A very good lesson and l really appreciate ????thanks

    Reply
  14. Viewer

    These are the basic skills everyone needs to learn, in order to be good at every aspect of life In Sha’a Allah.

    Reply
  15. Jasmine Pill

    Very good advice! Trying to teach my grandchildren to be helpful around the house and to be money wise!

    Reply
  16. Jibril Audi

    A very good Piece, jazakhallah khairan.

    Reply
  17. Adiza Jibril

    Masha Allah Very helpful thanks for your advice

    Reply
  18. Noraini Rasam

    Alhamdulillah. I could use the tips to share with other parents. InsyaaAllah. Syukron jazilan for sharing. May Allah bless this string.

    Reply
  19. Al-yasha Williams

    Very insightful and encouraging! Thank you!

    Reply
  20. Elijah T

    Great information to use. Our children need so much instruction & structure. Many parents just do not know how to begin to teach. Many of us just continue to neglect the educational duties of parenting. In The Name Of Allah, Thank You.

    Reply
    • Nour from Muslim Pro

      Thank you Elijah for voicing out your opinion. Please do share the article with your friends and family.

      Reply
  21. Mohamed Hoque

    Alhamdulillah!
    Jazak Allahu Khayran.

    Reply
  22. Abdul

    My name is Abdulwale and very well useful Allah knows best

    Reply
  23. Ridwan

    Jazak Allah Khairan. Very lovely and informative.

    Reply
    • Muktar

      MashaAllah it is very educative May Allah Reward all the contributors to the writer-up Ameen .

      Reply
  24. Mohammed Nasir

    I have screenshot every phrase of this lecture. Shukran

    Reply
  25. Sonia

    I was really upset because ofy toddler and its just pop up. Alhamdulilah really helpful jazakallah khair.

    Reply
    • Nour from Muslim Pro

      Dear Sonia, that is great to hear. Do let us know what kind of content you would like us to share. We appreciate your support. Shukran

      Reply
  26. Abdul Hakeem

    Very useful, I thank Allah for my mom. She has thought me almost everything

    Reply
    • Nour from Muslim Pro

      Alhamdollilah. May Allah bless your family and your mother. we thank you for your appreciation and support. do share the article with your family and friends, – Nour.

      Reply
  27. Abubakar Muhammad

    Jazakumullahu biljannah. Well understood and it will be put into practice Insha Allah.

    Reply
  28. Abubakar Muhammad

    May Allah accept it as an act of ibadah Well understood and it will be put into practice Insha Allah.

    Reply
  29. Mohd Asad

    Allah hu Akbar

    Reply

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