5 Essential Life Skills To Teach Your Child
by Farida HajiDear parent,
Are you tired of screaming at your kids for simple tasks?
Then sighing out of frustration because you have to drag them forcefully and watch them complete their task? If only they could do it in the first place with a smile on their faces.
Instead of lashing out at your children, teach them these life skills.
5 Essential Life Skills
1. Decision-making
Decision-making starts from the moment we realize we have a choice. We introduce options to our children — an apple or a banana, a chocolate or a sweet — and as they grow up, the options get more complex and difficult.
As parents or primary caregivers, it is our prerogative to help them make better choices from the mind and heart, and hone their decision-making skills. You can help them to:
- Identify the problem;
- Explore options;
- Compare pros and cons;
- Plan your action; and
- Gauge consequences.
Follow up with providing guidance to support your child in making the right decisions.
2. Maintaining Health and Hygiene
Cleanliness is essential to our practices, not just for our prayers, but for a healthy life. Rather than commanding them to perform certain tasks, explain why they need to do it.
حَدَّثَنَا هِشَامُ بْنُ عَمَّارٍ، حَدَّثَنَا صَدَقَةُ بْنُ خَالِدٍ، حَدَّثَنَا عُتْبَةُ بْنُ أَبِي حَكِيمٍ، حَدَّثَنِي طَلْحَةُ بْنُ نَافِعٍ أَبُو سُفْيَانَ، قَالَ حَدَّثَنِي أَبُو أَيُّوبَ الأَنْصَارِيُّ، وَجَابِرُ بْنُ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ، وَأَنَسُ بْنُ مَالِكٍ، أَنَّ هَذِهِ الآيَةَ، نَزَلَتْ {فِيهِ رِجَالٌ يُحِبُّونَ أَنْ يَتَطَهَّرُوا وَاللَّهُ يُحِبُّ الْمُطَّهِّرِينَ} قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ ـ صلى الله عليه وسلم ـ ” يَا مَعْشَرَ الأَنْصَارِ إِنَّ اللَّهَ قَدْ أَثْنَى عَلَيْكُمْ فِي الطُّهُورِ فَمَا طُهُورُكُمْ ” . قَالُوا نَتَوَضَّأُ لِلصَّلاَةِ وَنَغْتَسِلُ مِنَ الْجَنَابَةِ وَنَسْتَنْجِي بِالْمَاءِ . قَالَ ” هُوَ ذَلِكَ فَعَلَيْكُمُوهُ ” .
Abu Sufyan said:
“Abu Ayyub Al-Ansari, Jabir bin ‘Abdullah, and Anas bin Malik told me that when this Verse: “In it (the mosque) are men who love to clean and to purify themselves. And Allah loves those who make themselves clean and pure.” was revealed, the Messenger of Allah said: ‘O Ansar! Allah has praised you for your cleanliness. What is the nature of your cleanliness?’ They said: ‘We perform ablution for prayer and we take bath to cleanse ourselves of impurity due to sexual activity, and we clean ourselves with water (after urinating). He said: ‘This is what it is. So adhere to it.'”
[Sunan Ibn Majah 355]
This is definitely a challenge, the foundation of which needs to be strong. Once the habits are established, you will have one less thing to worry about. Create a task table, or allocate timings for certain tasks, and let them see you perform the task as well.
Actions speak louder than words, so introduce your children to the following habits when appropriate:
- Practise good dental hygiene and brush regularly, at least twice a day.
حَدَّثَنَا عَبْدُ اللَّهِ بْنُ يُوسُفَ، قَالَ أَخْبَرَنَا مَالِكٌ، عَنْ أَبِي الزِّنَادِ، عَنِ الأَعْرَجِ، عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ ـ رضى الله عنه ـ أَنَّ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم قَالَ “ لَوْلاَ أَنْ أَشُقَّ عَلَى أُمَّتِي ـ أَوْ عَلَى النَّاسِ ـ لأَمَرْتُهُمْ بِالسِّوَاكِ مَعَ كُلِّ صَلاَةٍ ”.
Narrated Abu Huraira:
Allah’s Messenger ﷺ said, “If I had not found it hard for my followers or the people, I would have ordered them to clean their teeth with Siwak for every prayer.”
[Sahih al-Bukhari 887]
- Perform wudhu with the right mannerisms (arkaan).
- Bathe (ghusul) and clean yourself thoroughly after urinating or defecating.
- Remove pubic and armpit hair once every 40 days.
- Clip nails regularly.
- Maintain a good appearence, wear clean and washed underwear and garments.
- Encourage use of attar, especially on Fridays.
- Being mindful while sneezing and coughing.
- Promote healthy eating habits and practices.
- Maintain cleanliness around the house, refrain from littering the streets.
3. Time Management
“Wait a minute”, “give me 5 minutes”, “later!” and other such phrases are common responses we’ve heard from our children. Time management is not only reading the clock and getting things done on time. It’s organizing, planning and executing tasks at a scheduled period. The simplest example would be to pray on time!
These are a few ways to teach your children the value of time and planning:
- Make simple calendars (individual and family) and fill them together
- Prioritise tasks and reward them for timely actions
- For children who love technology, add kid-friendly organisational apps to their gadgets to make it a fun exercise.
- Communicate gently for best results
4. Financial Literacy
We see numbers everywhere. However, how many of us realize the importance of numbers in our lives? Introduce the understanding of money from an early age, so when they start earning they can deal with money rationally.
Do not start from when they turn one. Instead, gradually as they understand calculations, introduce basic money matters to your child:
- The concept of savings from an early age.
- Talk about Zakat and Charity.
- Talk about earning halal money.
- Discuss how we deal with interest (riba).
Have conversations about the Islamic nature of handling finance and allow them to manage and use money. This can be difficult, but not impossible.
5. Survival Chores
Oh yes! This has to be the most important one. The umpteen number of times we see clothes thrown on the floor and the dishes left in the sink. It is definitely something our children need to realize, that we will not be there to pick up after them for the rest of their lives.
Teach them the following survival skills before it’s too late:
- Make time to teach and direct your child to do age-appropriate tasks.
- Teach them to prep meals; not an entire dining menu yet, but enough to make themselves a sandwich or an egg, or pour themselves a glass of milk and cereal.
- Teach them first aid and quick response when they hurt themselves.
- Teach them to clean up after themselves, make their bed, switch off the lights, and put away their laundry.
- Teach them about budgeting and buying items.
- Teach them about fixing things around and about the house.
- Encourage them to be of service to people in need of help.
It may seem like a lot. However, take a back seat and think of your child as a little human, a Muslim brother or sister you are raising. Think of your teachings and imparting knowledge as a service to Allah. Not only will it make your parental journey easy, but it will make your path to Jannah blissful! Inshallah.
Very good advice
I LOVE THIS!!!
The suggestions for good mannerisms and interactions with the kids for them to be more involved in their development are soo relevant and simple. Such a helpful piece.
Thank you!!!
السَّلاَمُ عَلَيْكُمْ وَرَحْمَةُ اللهِ وَ بَرَكته
Thank you for taking the time to write these very practical suggestions..
Keep them coming as the fitnah of having outspoken, rude and sometimes lazy children is upon us all..
Wasalam
Umm Ismail
This is awesome, thanks for this, Jazakha ALLAHU Khairan 😇🙏, I will start practicing with my child as from now on 😇🙏.
Very interesting topical issues, we shall be part of it all the way Insha Allah
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Thank you so much for your kind support and appreciation.
Assalamualaikum. Mashallah very useful.
Asalam Aleykum W Wabarakatuh
Tabarakallah very useful…👍
Jazakallah Khairan…❤
Jazzakal llahu khairan. …. this is useful and rewarding.
JazakAllah khair….very useful easy and the best way to teach children.
Masha Allah
Thanks for the teachings
JazaakAllah,Very informative and productive
Salam,
Great advice for parents and children! Teach your children while they are young. Will definitely make a difference in their lives.
Shukran your your appreciation and support. Do share the article with your family and friends, – Nour
Alhamdulillah, excellent. Jazak Allahu Khairan!
JazaakAllah,very good article for parents to instill good qualities in their children.
Alhamdullilah. Its powerful tool not only for children but adult too
Alhamdulillah. I could use the tips to share with other parents. InsyaaAllah. Syukron jazilan for sharing. May Allah bless this string.
A very good lessons for a better life and good upbringing
Mashallah usefull but today’s kids joint family also playes imp role if u have suggestion regarding how to cope up 80+ members do send me
Cleanliness doesn’t and shouldn’t stop at body hygiene alone but extend to complete cleanliness of your home and surroundings,even at our work places.Kitchen,bathroom,toilet and tidy up the entire house are part of it.
And must not be gender based.Let’s teach our boys and men how to do these chores as well and not only the females.
May Allah make life easier for everyone.Ameen.
Very educative and good reminder
EXCELLENT
Lovely article and especially about teaching kids from a young age. Yesterday I went to an area that was so messy and dirty with rubbish on the roads and my kids were shocked as I always teach them to never throw rubbish outside and we always go out to clean up our road. Subhanallah
Alhamdulillah• this is very relevant …Jazakallahu khair 🙏
A very good lesson and l really appreciate 🙏thanks
These are the basic skills everyone needs to learn, in order to be good at every aspect of life In Sha’a Allah.
Very good advice! Trying to teach my grandchildren to be helpful around the house and to be money wise!
A very good Piece, jazakhallah khairan.
Masha Allah Very helpful thanks for your advice
Alhamdulillah. I could use the tips to share with other parents. InsyaaAllah. Syukron jazilan for sharing. May Allah bless this string.
Very insightful and encouraging! Thank you!
Great information to use. Our children need so much instruction & structure. Many parents just do not know how to begin to teach. Many of us just continue to neglect the educational duties of parenting. In The Name Of Allah, Thank You.
Thank you Elijah for voicing out your opinion. Please do share the article with your friends and family.
Alhamdulillah!
Jazak Allahu Khayran.
My name is Abdulwale and very well useful Allah knows best
Jazak Allah Khairan. Very lovely and informative.
MashaAllah it is very educative May Allah Reward all the contributors to the writer-up Ameen .
I have screenshot every phrase of this lecture. Shukran
I was really upset because ofy toddler and its just pop up. Alhamdulilah really helpful jazakallah khair.
Dear Sonia, that is great to hear. Do let us know what kind of content you would like us to share. We appreciate your support. Shukran
Very useful, I thank Allah for my mom. She has thought me almost everything
Alhamdollilah. May Allah bless your family and your mother. we thank you for your appreciation and support. do share the article with your family and friends, – Nour.
Jazakumullahu biljannah. Well understood and it will be put into practice Insha Allah.
May Allah accept it as an act of ibadah Well understood and it will be put into practice Insha Allah.